When the Sky Fades from Electric Blue

Darling creature who treads water like land,

Is everything well ?

With every sentence I begin writing, thousands of words in every language dance with the sentiments I’d like to send your way.

Today I release myself temporarily from this mundane existence. Point A to Point B is no longer the distance from one significance to the next, but instead it becomes significant itself. In life I find we spend so much time analyzing what we can see that we forget to leave room for the things that we can’t.

Today I cannot dismiss my cravings for you like I can for the other things that can never be. I know that as time moves forward I’ll further fade from your mind, as you’ll fade from mine. However, it is up to our discretion to decide when time is relative to us enough to dictate such a thing. Yesterday my lingering feelings for you lived only in my dreams, but today I love you the same way I did when I said it to you the first time.

I pulled out a Christmas CD from 2019 and it reminded me of something that I’d never said.

I’m sorry.

Sometimes I didn’t forget, I just wasn’t listening.

I was too lost contemplating how unfathomable it was that the sound of your voice alone was so intoxicating, there wasn’t any room left to try and make sense of what you were actually saying.

I’ve avoided writing to you more because I never want our relationship to become a topic of conversation that ends with you deciding that our lingering contact has become unhealthy.

I still hope to be considered a friend to you forevermore.

You likely won’t hear from me for awhile after this, but I want you to know with no doubt in your mind that you will always be a bookmarked chapter in my life. I miss you and I’m forever grateful for the many ways you helped me grow in such a short time.

To avoid rambling forever, I’ll leave you with a question.

What do you feel when you forget what you know ?

With every drop of existence that I embody, I wish you good health.

– The crazy girl you had a fling with in 2019 💛

A Pandemic to Cure all Ailments…

You know, during this pandemic,I’ve realized a lot of things.

The things I chose that made me unhappy, though in the moment I never realize why; the many things I should’ve been grateful for; the things that I thought I had wanted but didn’t.

I never could have predicted what was wrong until I felt the difference when things had already changed.

An effervescence. A bitter sweet taste.

Soap that suddenly turns to bubbles to reflect the world in a rainbow.

It knows how easy it can pop.

I’m happy. Really, really happy.

I worked too much. I forgot the things that made every day exciting and worth life.

I’ve been in quarantine for 4 days.

And for once, I have time to sweep the patio. For the first time since I was a kid, I cut back all the brambles hanging over the deck. I finished an entire page in my colouring book.

An ENTIRE page.

I MEDITATED.

I felt this CONTENT.

This pandemic,

It’s ironic how only in the moments that we fear our end, do we realize the things that we don’t want to.

People are going to be lost….

It’s the inevitability that’s pushing us to be proactive.

However people have, and still will be lost…..

I wonder,

How many at this moment,

Contemplate their morality ?

Suddenly we realize….

What we’ve created, might be all we get to leave. How we’ve created it, an example someone might seek to follow.

I don’t know who I am.

But for once I don’t know why I ever needed to.

I prayed today.

For the first time since I can remember.

I forgot to give thanks, so I’ll give thanks now.

THANK YOU◦ For all the blessing and curses you’ve given me, oh glorious universe.

Blah Blah Blah

The chimes to dance

On the wind of the coming snows prance

My finger’s numb

I can’t quite click it

The reset button they told me to stick with

A layer to cover

A layer to change

A layer to remind us we’re all still the same

I don’t wanna forget dear

Don’t think that I can…

They’re telling me to move past dear

I don’t think I have a chance…

They’re staring at me love

Making me feel weird

I’m different from them love

So please reassure me

Take away my fear

If the world was ending you’d come over right ?

I sent you a song about the world ending

I hadn’t realized that it already had

Ended that is

They told me that when I died that it’d just simply go to black

But they used death like it was permanent

rather than a reoccurring patch

Conversations I find, are better had

Now with a mix of scotch and a cigarette in hand

Liquid life please, add some life to my eyes while I dream

Then this reminds me there’s still things for me to see

Though my mind is like ww3

With the falling of each shell ticking down the time I have left

I died with you when I said goodbye that winter morning

But this time it seems

Only temporarily I’ve faded to black

My world with you ended

Bumblebee

To create a world without you

Seems to be harder than I’d perceived.

😴

🐝🐝

Føcus

Rust corrupts the floor through a presentation of bubbling rage. Focus flees from me as I attempt to grasp it like wind. Cold coffee from a dusty old can and a paint stained binder, touched by many finger prints. For poetry, I attempt to persevere, though even my writing lives amongst chaos. It’s as if I am the tree, my thoughts the twigs compiled into a jumbled mess and I’m left wonder if the eggs inside will ever hatch.

The prophet, my second attempt reads. What if the answers I need are hidden amongst the pages ? Waiting behind the black stripes on the cover. My mind flits to you like eyelashes fluttering under a blinding light. You’re a pitcher of water filling my glass, but we’ve hit too close and now I’ve cracked. I can’t ask you to fill me faster than I leak, simply an old poster of a once beautiful scene.

Withering away from the environment. What again ? Was the dream that it portrayed ? I asked the golden sands what dream it had gave, but for me he had nothing more to say.

Sometimes I wonder… The mountain tops we see, so calm in their sleep. I wonder if they willingly fold so that we might climb and for a moment breath. Then the highest outlines leading to peaks to which we wouldn’t dare to creep, are simply unwilling to deceive us into thinking they’re simply rocks compiled to sit under our feet.

There are many languages I’ve begun learning to phrase. All have yet to assure me that words will ever really be enough. We see the collision before it occurs, but in truth none of us really look. I could write you a book on all the things overlooked, but that would entail that I myself am not also blind. In reality it seems all this questioning is simply rather deafening to my mind.

How many senses do we each really even have ? I wish to be touched but reject the scenario because I have yet to be touched in a way that skin can only mimic in this tangible world. I crave to taste, for at least when I consume there is something left inside… inevitably breaking down like every other fickle thing we perceive as strong.

Only improperly do I call them things. Though I suppose a thing is what I too am. Does anyone care to debate ? I close my eyes and as a prophet may perceive the future, I remember my past.

My darling sandman, how could I have left you so dry ? I asked you for a dream when you were already mine. Now rather than a pitcher, you’re regarding me like dry sockets where tears can no longer cry. I think now it is time, I learn to focus in my own right. Then maybe we can share an ugly truth rather than a beautiful lie.

Snakes’ Skin

Branches were sewn together by green

a DNA strand elongating to new lengths

Wrapping around us like Saturn’s ring

Conformity overwhelming as you try to slip from its grasp

Gasping and grasping for leverage

Control is fleeting and ego is panic

But why ?

Would you want to shed your skin.

My palm told me a future

And a planet experiences it with grace

I cut my finger and blood fell with intent to stain

Then I glanced out the window

And down came the rain

A paper plane to show the path in which these thoughts came

Shredded to the wind

They stuck to the earths surface like a chemical reaction to the nearest brain

Dear Daffy Duck

The conflict-ions consistent,

My heart is full, but also scarred.

Everything I need, everything I want,

Just trying to pull the right card.

My introspection’s going far, but damn I need a car.

My views are conflicted, but aren’t we all contradicted ?

Everyone looks sickened.

We’re all just flickin’ our Bics, to feel apart of the clique.

But today, the more I flicked;

The dragon’s caught my disease, now it’s gotten sick.

So please, just let me breath.

So I can preach, and see the trees and feel the breeze.

I found ease on my knees.

Then I heard the wind bring the jingle of your keys.

Oh love please, you’re bringing me the opposite of peace.

You’re pricing me down like day old cheese.

My worth to you is at a discounted fee.

I can’t help that my favourite shirt is your raggedy old tee.

You gave me a sense of false security.

But darling.

You hear it now, you hear it from me.

I don’t need you, or your raggedy old tee, to make me feel happy.

It took me some time to realize, looking into your eyes was part of my demise.

It angered me inside.

You caused me oh so many sighs.

But now.

I choose my own side.

I huffed and I puffed, and damn it was tough.

However, no matter how rough,

I don’t dig my grave anymore.

Instead, I roll up my cuffs.

I no longer need you to carry my stuff.

Dear Daffy Duck,

Elmer Fudd came, and got you plucked.

~Hannah & Chelsey

Humans Keep Poking My Webs

Days coming faster

Times moving quick

In 4 more days, off to Vietnam with my flint

To reignite the fire in my eyes

To help me deal with all these lies

and it’d be really fucking nice

To try and sleep for a night

Without nightmares or nausea taking what’s mine

Creativities been like a bird in flight

I’m chasing it around with my old kite

Because there aren’t any wings I can call mine

I feel trapped in this time

And the symbolism of my dreams is telling me to let myself free

But happy I’ve always been

So what different me are you wanting me to be ?

I’m trying my best, though I’m just a tireless mess

This writing is a sloppy little web

I’m trying to weave so this spider might get some rest

But my metaphors don’t even seem to be up to the test

And my rhymes are iffy

I’m lost

Could I maybe come in

And temporarily be a guest

Your mind distracts me

Like a distortion of time

Could we hide here for a bit ?

Pretend that linear theories are a lie ?