Blank Pages

I’ll cry for you so that the words I’ve seen will pour black out…

Bad things come in threes then tripled to a dozen but I think when gods choose to torture us, they answer our prayers.

Lightning, please write me a new story from the strands you disregard, then I can use the thunder to catch attention like fireflies in a jar.

My desires are palpable in the air around me so I beg thee for a breeze. Then I may chase it till I become comfortable enough in this world to confuse it for freedom.

Always conflicted like my path itself presents a moral dilemma with every stone. Though no, I’m simply indecisive.

I wander through my wonder room in hopes that I may still have faith, and each time I remind myself, I see again they’re only white walls.

Suddenly I understand the beauty in the blank pages left behind. All the beautiful moments I write… all the beautiful moments he saw with his eyes.

“Remind me what we said before we were tangible enough to let gravity weigh us down ? “

“….”

“Ah yes, you always knew how to make me smile.”

Troubled

I believe that life speaks a tongue of longevity, and humanity is the small twigs that rustle with the breeze…

I wonder intrinsically where my wandering thoughts may be betraying me, though it’s only my decision of whether or not I allow them to forsake me.

To grasp a language that is not my own…

“Grasping my own tongue has proved to be much more difficult than simply touching it to my nose…” I told my friend aimlessly and now I find astoundingly; that is still how my saying goes.

We have prayed for fortune and pardon, wealth and disgrace; love and spite, always seems to be how it goes with the human race.

Fighting future and it’s raised arms of defence; the past is so tempting though it begs for regrets.

Finally now though, I’m beginning to see the patterns in how the Forrest weeps; however still alien to me, these concepts whisper only in my dreams.

Eternal balance it screams as I erupt among the living; pondering of the times I have ceased to be.

Though living is a word for which I think I’d like to redefine as I continue my grapples with reality in time.

Sewing together my farewells like a blanket you can hold once I leave; thread barren it may be, more greetings shimmer downstream.

For now I hope my poetry strikes a chord within thee, and even if only slightly, it was a pleasant read.

A beautiful scenery I imagine it will be, just around the bend of the 7th old oak tree.

Humanity…

I’ve forgotten what the tales of morality even entail.

My heart throbs as you sweep into my life whimsically…

But I’ve been lifting the moral weights of other relentlessly; leaving me weak and frail.

When others treat me as divinity rather than creativity, I lose sight of what I am.

A contagion overwhelming me strangely.. leaving only an object behind.

But oh still… there is humanity here.

My darling reminds me of morality, with but a glance drifting my way.

Your eyes speak of affection rather than objection to an opinion that is not your own.

I feel again as a human being should, rather than a telephone therapist dreaming only that it could…

Morality treated as a treasury of the possibilities that now would be blessed upon you an me.

I’ve been reminded of my mortality, a blessing I could not foresee.

So only thank you I can say to my darling; we were never meant to be.

When the Sky Fades from Electric Blue

Darling creature who treads water like land,

Is everything well ?

With every sentence I begin writing, thousands of words in every language dance with the sentiments I’d like to send your way.

Today I release myself temporarily from this mundane existence. Point A to Point B is no longer the distance from one significance to the next, but instead it becomes significant itself. In life I find we spend so much time analyzing what we can see that we forget to leave room for the things that we can’t.

Today I cannot dismiss my cravings for you like I can for the other things that can never be. I know that as time moves forward I’ll further fade from your mind, as you’ll fade from mine. However, it is up to our discretion to decide when time is relative to us enough to dictate such a thing. Yesterday my lingering feelings for you lived only in my dreams, but today I love you the same way I did when I said it to you the first time.

I pulled out a Christmas CD from 2019 and it reminded me of something that I’d never said.

I’m sorry.

Sometimes I didn’t forget, I just wasn’t listening.

I was too lost contemplating how unfathomable it was that the sound of your voice alone was so intoxicating, there wasn’t any room left to try and make sense of what you were actually saying.

I’ve avoided writing to you more because I never want our relationship to become a topic of conversation that ends with you deciding that our lingering contact has become unhealthy.

I still hope to be considered a friend to you forevermore.

You likely won’t hear from me for awhile after this, but I want you to know with no doubt in your mind that you will always be a bookmarked chapter in my life. I miss you and I’m forever grateful for the many ways you helped me grow in such a short time.

To avoid rambling forever, I’ll leave you with a question.

What do you feel when you forget what you know ?

With every drop of existence that I embody, I wish you good health.

– The crazy girl you had a fling with in 2019 💛

A Pandemic to Cure all Ailments…

You know, during this pandemic,I’ve realized a lot of things.

The things I chose that made me unhappy, though in the moment I never realize why; the many things I should’ve been grateful for; the things that I thought I had wanted but didn’t.

I never could have predicted what was wrong until I felt the difference when things had already changed.

An effervescence. A bitter sweet taste.

Soap that suddenly turns to bubbles to reflect the world in a rainbow.

It knows how easy it can pop.

I’m happy. Really, really happy.

I worked too much. I forgot the things that made every day exciting and worth life.

I’ve been in quarantine for 4 days.

And for once, I have time to sweep the patio. For the first time since I was a kid, I cut back all the brambles hanging over the deck. I finished an entire page in my colouring book.

An ENTIRE page.

I MEDITATED.

I felt this CONTENT.

This pandemic,

It’s ironic how only in the moments that we fear our end, do we realize the things that we don’t want to.

People are going to be lost….

It’s the inevitability that’s pushing us to be proactive.

However people have, and still will be lost…..

I wonder,

How many at this moment,

Contemplate their morality ?

Suddenly we realize….

What we’ve created, might be all we get to leave. How we’ve created it, an example someone might seek to follow.

I don’t know who I am.

But for once I don’t know why I ever needed to.

I prayed today.

For the first time since I can remember.

I forgot to give thanks, so I’ll give thanks now.

THANK YOU◦ For all the blessing and curses you’ve given me, oh glorious universe.

THE WORLDxYOUxINSPIRE…Culd we all be friends ?

Tried rooting my beard

Seems youth seeds no longer grow

And now you can’t have nature

Without a credit cards flashy shows

La vie en rose

Is now a perfume everyone knows

I just wanna dream of you like sweat and soap

They say the land has eyes and the lashes tickle your feet

Please be kind it whispers…

As the wind blows garbage to a place your hand can meet

We all make mistakes

Simply for you to make up for them it seeks

I know you guys are friends

Introduce me to someone could you please ?

You corrupt my mind

But with you it ain’t free

To be with you indefinitely

A pretty penny I’d have to be

The world wants more

So in turn we need your friend

But you’re the only one that can help me

Like no else could even pretend

I crave your scent like soap and sweat

They say the land has eyes and the lashes tickle your feet

Please be kind it whispers…

As the wind blows garbage to a place your hand can meet

We all make mistakes

Simply for you to make up for them it seeks

I know you guys are friends

Introduce me to someone could you please ?

Someone I Barely Knew

When did I start only seeing your car over the barrier

From here it seems the tree branches sweep the clouds from the sky

I miss gazing into those metallic eyes wondering if steel could learn to cry

I always saw your actions in grey and your lies in white

But now your black is in the corners of my sight

The tendons to our bridge are starting to snap my darling Achilles heel

This raft won’t carry 2, so rather than be rose I’ll learn to kneel

< Chorus >

How did I never notice we only jumped to red roofs

And you never asked why I saturated myself in blue

You always said purple was a shade you’d never do

I’ve always been a cabin in the woods while she’s a skyscraper in heels

Under this weight even Hercules would keel

-Verse 2-

This loss is like the 4:44 I once loved as it cleanses me

Like you were rot in my teeth and now I have floss

I always hid my bleeding lips under glistening gloss

Before that electric feel, what kinda food shall we eat for this final meal

You could drink my tears while I eat your fears

Then when asked by our peers

I’ll say you’re someone I barely knew

<chorus>

Dear Daffy Duck

The conflict-ions consistent,

My heart is full, but also scarred.

Everything I need, everything I want,

Just trying to pull the right card.

My introspection’s going far, but damn I need a car.

My views are conflicted, but aren’t we all contradicted ?

Everyone looks sickened.

We’re all just flickin’ our Bics, to feel apart of the clique.

But today, the more I flicked;

The dragon’s caught my disease, now it’s gotten sick.

So please, just let me breath.

So I can preach, and see the trees and feel the breeze.

I found ease on my knees.

Then I heard the wind bring the jingle of your keys.

Oh love please, you’re bringing me the opposite of peace.

You’re pricing me down like day old cheese.

My worth to you is at a discounted fee.

I can’t help that my favourite shirt is your raggedy old tee.

You gave me a sense of false security.

But darling.

You hear it now, you hear it from me.

I don’t need you, or your raggedy old tee, to make me feel happy.

It took me some time to realize, looking into your eyes was part of my demise.

It angered me inside.

You caused me oh so many sighs.

But now.

I choose my own side.

I huffed and I puffed, and damn it was tough.

However, no matter how rough,

I don’t dig my grave anymore.

Instead, I roll up my cuffs.

I no longer need you to carry my stuff.

Dear Daffy Duck,

Elmer Fudd came, and got you plucked.

~Hannah & Chelsey

Humans Keep Poking My Webs

Days coming faster

Times moving quick

In 4 more days, off to Vietnam with my flint

To reignite the fire in my eyes

To help me deal with all these lies

and it’d be really fucking nice

To try and sleep for a night

Without nightmares or nausea taking what’s mine

Creativities been like a bird in flight

I’m chasing it around with my old kite

Because there aren’t any wings I can call mine

I feel trapped in this time

And the symbolism of my dreams is telling me to let myself free

But happy I’ve always been

So what different me are you wanting me to be ?

I’m trying my best, though I’m just a tireless mess

This writing is a sloppy little web

I’m trying to weave so this spider might get some rest

But my metaphors don’t even seem to be up to the test

And my rhymes are iffy

I’m lost

Could I maybe come in

And temporarily be a guest

Your mind distracts me

Like a distortion of time

Could we hide here for a bit ?

Pretend that linear theories are a lie ?