Misunderstood

I thought you were mine now shady

I thought we were a yes not a maybe

I mistook what we were now I’m fading

I went to the curb but you weren’t waiting

The bar was packed but all inspiring

His hands were rough but I wasn’t minding

A drunken mystery ever so inviting

Then the sun showed he wasn’t you…

I think it’d been spying

Waddle on home before your work starts minding

‘Meet me where our light is our darkness, and in purity we shall lie corrupt’

Leather bound mystery, I’m craving to scan you with my groceries.

Honestly dancing, but frustratingly avoiding the question,

This one I should have never posed…

I know you like video games, well you’re a cod zombie to me;

Eating away my thoughts as I try to sleep.

Oval holes of black, seeping sounds to deafen us down; distraction present.

Keep your mind collected while your ears are messed with.

Don’t put down your focus on a blur, chances are in the rough;

Coralines being called to button up.

Sometimes we all get locked up in the night with the scary stuff…

Waiting for that rayed jumpsuit to come running on the sun,

Finally back from his nightly run.

Then they give us white shades so we can close away what’s lost.

Pretend like nothings wrong and we aren’t miles high…

Still staring at closed shades blocking away our beautiful day.

I like to ask questions because I’d love to know why.

What do you think of the dark, the bright and the red flickering light ?

I’m mesmerized by which methods our brains choose to fight..

Nowadays though…. only white.

Will you pick a number between 100 & 5 , then tell me why ?

You think maybe… there’s a different message on my mind ?

Care to quench my ponders as to why ?

But darling please,

Just don’t ask me back.

‘Meet me where our light is our darkness, and in purity we shall lie corrupt’

When the Sky Fades from Electric Blue

Darling creature who treads water like land,

Is everything well ?

With every sentence I begin writing, thousands of words in every language dance with the sentiments I’d like to send your way.

Today I release myself temporarily from this mundane existence. Point A to Point B is no longer the distance from one significance to the next, but instead it becomes significant itself. In life I find we spend so much time analyzing what we can see that we forget to leave room for the things that we can’t.

Today I cannot dismiss my cravings for you like I can for the other things that can never be. I know that as time moves forward I’ll further fade from your mind, as you’ll fade from mine. However, it is up to our discretion to decide when time is relative to us enough to dictate such a thing. Yesterday my lingering feelings for you lived only in my dreams, but today I love you the same way I did when I said it to you the first time.

I pulled out a Christmas CD from 2019 and it reminded me of something that I’d never said.

I’m sorry.

Sometimes I didn’t forget, I just wasn’t listening.

I was too lost contemplating how unfathomable it was that the sound of your voice alone was so intoxicating, there wasn’t any room left to try and make sense of what you were actually saying.

I’ve avoided writing to you more because I never want our relationship to become a topic of conversation that ends with you deciding that our lingering contact has become unhealthy.

I still hope to be considered a friend to you forevermore.

You likely won’t hear from me for awhile after this, but I want you to know with no doubt in your mind that you will always be a bookmarked chapter in my life. I miss you and I’m forever grateful for the many ways you helped me grow in such a short time.

To avoid rambling forever, I’ll leave you with a question.

What do you feel when you forget what you know ?

With every drop of existence that I embody, I wish you good health.

– The crazy girl you had a fling with in 2019 💛

A Pandemic to Cure all Ailments…

You know, during this pandemic,I’ve realized a lot of things.

The things I chose that made me unhappy, though in the moment I never realize why; the many things I should’ve been grateful for; the things that I thought I had wanted but didn’t.

I never could have predicted what was wrong until I felt the difference when things had already changed.

An effervescence. A bitter sweet taste.

Soap that suddenly turns to bubbles to reflect the world in a rainbow.

It knows how easy it can pop.

I’m happy. Really, really happy.

I worked too much. I forgot the things that made every day exciting and worth life.

I’ve been in quarantine for 4 days.

And for once, I have time to sweep the patio. For the first time since I was a kid, I cut back all the brambles hanging over the deck. I finished an entire page in my colouring book.

An ENTIRE page.

I MEDITATED.

I felt this CONTENT.

This pandemic,

It’s ironic how only in the moments that we fear our end, do we realize the things that we don’t want to.

People are going to be lost….

It’s the inevitability that’s pushing us to be proactive.

However people have, and still will be lost…..

I wonder,

How many at this moment,

Contemplate their morality ?

Suddenly we realize….

What we’ve created, might be all we get to leave. How we’ve created it, an example someone might seek to follow.

I don’t know who I am.

But for once I don’t know why I ever needed to.

I prayed today.

For the first time since I can remember.

I forgot to give thanks, so I’ll give thanks now.

THANK YOU◦ For all the blessing and curses you’ve given me, oh glorious universe.

Blah Blah Blah

The chimes to dance

On the wind of the coming snows prance

My finger’s numb

I can’t quite click it

The reset button they told me to stick with

A layer to cover

A layer to change

A layer to remind us we’re all still the same

I don’t wanna forget dear

Don’t think that I can…

They’re telling me to move past dear

I don’t think I have a chance…

They’re staring at me love

Making me feel weird

I’m different from them love

So please reassure me

Take away my fear

If the world was ending you’d come over right ?

I sent you a song about the world ending

I hadn’t realized that it already had

Ended that is

They told me that when I died that it’d just simply go to black

But they used death like it was permanent

rather than a reoccurring patch

Conversations I find, are better had

Now with a mix of scotch and a cigarette in hand

Liquid life please, add some life to my eyes while I dream

Then this reminds me there’s still things for me to see

Though my mind is like ww3

With the falling of each shell ticking down the time I have left

I died with you when I said goodbye that winter morning

But this time it seems

Only temporarily I’ve faded to black

My world with you ended

Bumblebee

To create a world without you

Seems to be harder than I’d perceived.

😴

🐝🐝

Føcus

Rust corrupts the floor through a presentation of bubbling rage. Focus flees from me as I attempt to grasp it like wind. Cold coffee from a dusty old can and a paint stained binder, touched by many finger prints. For poetry, I attempt to persevere, though even my writing lives amongst chaos. It’s as if I am the tree, my thoughts the twigs compiled into a jumbled mess and I’m left wonder if the eggs inside will ever hatch.

The prophet, my second attempt reads. What if the answers I need are hidden amongst the pages ? Waiting behind the black stripes on the cover. My mind flits to you like eyelashes fluttering under a blinding light. You’re a pitcher of water filling my glass, but we’ve hit too close and now I’ve cracked. I can’t ask you to fill me faster than I leak, simply an old poster of a once beautiful scene.

Withering away from the environment. What again ? Was the dream that it portrayed ? I asked the golden sands what dream it had gave, but for me he had nothing more to say.

Sometimes I wonder… The mountain tops we see, so calm in their sleep. I wonder if they willingly fold so that we might climb and for a moment breath. Then the highest outlines leading to peaks to which we wouldn’t dare to creep, are simply unwilling to deceive us into thinking they’re simply rocks compiled to sit under our feet.

There are many languages I’ve begun learning to phrase. All have yet to assure me that words will ever really be enough. We see the collision before it occurs, but in truth none of us really look. I could write you a book on all the things overlooked, but that would entail that I myself am not also blind. In reality it seems all this questioning is simply rather deafening to my mind.

How many senses do we each really even have ? I wish to be touched but reject the scenario because I have yet to be touched in a way that skin can only mimic in this tangible world. I crave to taste, for at least when I consume there is something left inside… inevitably breaking down like every other fickle thing we perceive as strong.

Only improperly do I call them things. Though I suppose a thing is what I too am. Does anyone care to debate ? I close my eyes and as a prophet may perceive the future, I remember my past.

My darling sandman, how could I have left you so dry ? I asked you for a dream when you were already mine. Now rather than a pitcher, you’re regarding me like dry sockets where tears can no longer cry. I think now it is time, I learn to focus in my own right. Then maybe we can share an ugly truth rather than a beautiful lie.

Dear Daffy Duck

The conflict-ions consistent,

My heart is full, but also scarred.

Everything I need, everything I want,

Just trying to pull the right card.

My introspection’s going far, but damn I need a car.

My views are conflicted, but aren’t we all contradicted ?

Everyone looks sickened.

We’re all just flickin’ our Bics, to feel apart of the clique.

But today, the more I flicked;

The dragon’s caught my disease, now it’s gotten sick.

So please, just let me breath.

So I can preach, and see the trees and feel the breeze.

I found ease on my knees.

Then I heard the wind bring the jingle of your keys.

Oh love please, you’re bringing me the opposite of peace.

You’re pricing me down like day old cheese.

My worth to you is at a discounted fee.

I can’t help that my favourite shirt is your raggedy old tee.

You gave me a sense of false security.

But darling.

You hear it now, you hear it from me.

I don’t need you, or your raggedy old tee, to make me feel happy.

It took me some time to realize, looking into your eyes was part of my demise.

It angered me inside.

You caused me oh so many sighs.

But now.

I choose my own side.

I huffed and I puffed, and damn it was tough.

However, no matter how rough,

I don’t dig my grave anymore.

Instead, I roll up my cuffs.

I no longer need you to carry my stuff.

Dear Daffy Duck,

Elmer Fudd came, and got you plucked.

~Hannah & Chelsey