When the Sky Fades from Electric Blue

Darling creature who treads water like land,

Is everything well ?

With every sentence I begin writing, thousands of words in every language dance with the sentiments I’d like to send your way.

Today I release myself temporarily from this mundane existence. Point A to Point B is no longer the distance from one significance to the next, but instead it becomes significant itself. In life I find we spend so much time analyzing what we can see that we forget to leave room for the things that we can’t.

Today I cannot dismiss my cravings for you like I can for the other things that can never be. I know that as time moves forward I’ll further fade from your mind, as you’ll fade from mine. However, it is up to our discretion to decide when time is relative to us enough to dictate such a thing. Yesterday my lingering feelings for you lived only in my dreams, but today I love you the same way I did when I said it to you the first time.

I pulled out a Christmas CD from 2019 and it reminded me of something that I’d never said.

I’m sorry.

Sometimes I didn’t forget, I just wasn’t listening.

I was too lost contemplating how unfathomable it was that the sound of your voice alone was so intoxicating, there wasn’t any room left to try and make sense of what you were actually saying.

I’ve avoided writing to you more because I never want our relationship to become a topic of conversation that ends with you deciding that our lingering contact has become unhealthy.

I still hope to be considered a friend to you forevermore.

You likely won’t hear from me for awhile after this, but I want you to know with no doubt in your mind that you will always be a bookmarked chapter in my life. I miss you and I’m forever grateful for the many ways you helped me grow in such a short time.

To avoid rambling forever, I’ll leave you with a question.

What do you feel when you forget what you know ?

With every drop of existence that I embody, I wish you good health.

– The crazy girl you had a fling with in 2019 💛

Føcus

Rust corrupts the floor through a presentation of bubbling rage. Focus flees from me as I attempt to grasp it like wind. Cold coffee from a dusty old can and a paint stained binder, touched by many finger prints. For poetry, I attempt to persevere, though even my writing lives amongst chaos. It’s as if I am the tree, my thoughts the twigs compiled into a jumbled mess and I’m left wonder if the eggs inside will ever hatch.

The prophet, my second attempt reads. What if the answers I need are hidden amongst the pages ? Waiting behind the black stripes on the cover. My mind flits to you like eyelashes fluttering under a blinding light. You’re a pitcher of water filling my glass, but we’ve hit too close and now I’ve cracked. I can’t ask you to fill me faster than I leak, simply an old poster of a once beautiful scene.

Withering away from the environment. What again ? Was the dream that it portrayed ? I asked the golden sands what dream it had gave, but for me he had nothing more to say.

Sometimes I wonder… The mountain tops we see, so calm in their sleep. I wonder if they willingly fold so that we might climb and for a moment breath. Then the highest outlines leading to peaks to which we wouldn’t dare to creep, are simply unwilling to deceive us into thinking they’re simply rocks compiled to sit under our feet.

There are many languages I’ve begun learning to phrase. All have yet to assure me that words will ever really be enough. We see the collision before it occurs, but in truth none of us really look. I could write you a book on all the things overlooked, but that would entail that I myself am not also blind. In reality it seems all this questioning is simply rather deafening to my mind.

How many senses do we each really even have ? I wish to be touched but reject the scenario because I have yet to be touched in a way that skin can only mimic in this tangible world. I crave to taste, for at least when I consume there is something left inside… inevitably breaking down like every other fickle thing we perceive as strong.

Only improperly do I call them things. Though I suppose a thing is what I too am. Does anyone care to debate ? I close my eyes and as a prophet may perceive the future, I remember my past.

My darling sandman, how could I have left you so dry ? I asked you for a dream when you were already mine. Now rather than a pitcher, you’re regarding me like dry sockets where tears can no longer cry. I think now it is time, I learn to focus in my own right. Then maybe we can share an ugly truth rather than a beautiful lie.

THE WORLDxYOUxINSPIRE…Culd we all be friends ?

Tried rooting my beard

Seems youth seeds no longer grow

And now you can’t have nature

Without a credit cards flashy shows

La vie en rose

Is now a perfume everyone knows

I just wanna dream of you like sweat and soap

They say the land has eyes and the lashes tickle your feet

Please be kind it whispers…

As the wind blows garbage to a place your hand can meet

We all make mistakes

Simply for you to make up for them it seeks

I know you guys are friends

Introduce me to someone could you please ?

You corrupt my mind

But with you it ain’t free

To be with you indefinitely

A pretty penny I’d have to be

The world wants more

So in turn we need your friend

But you’re the only one that can help me

Like no else could even pretend

I crave your scent like soap and sweat

They say the land has eyes and the lashes tickle your feet

Please be kind it whispers…

As the wind blows garbage to a place your hand can meet

We all make mistakes

Simply for you to make up for them it seeks

I know you guys are friends

Introduce me to someone could you please ?

Someone I Barely Knew

When did I start only seeing your car over the barrier

From here it seems the tree branches sweep the clouds from the sky

I miss gazing into those metallic eyes wondering if steel could learn to cry

I always saw your actions in grey and your lies in white

But now your black is in the corners of my sight

The tendons to our bridge are starting to snap my darling Achilles heel

This raft won’t carry 2, so rather than be rose I’ll learn to kneel

< Chorus >

How did I never notice we only jumped to red roofs

And you never asked why I saturated myself in blue

You always said purple was a shade you’d never do

I’ve always been a cabin in the woods while she’s a skyscraper in heels

Under this weight even Hercules would keel

-Verse 2-

This loss is like the 4:44 I once loved as it cleanses me

Like you were rot in my teeth and now I have floss

I always hid my bleeding lips under glistening gloss

Before that electric feel, what kinda food shall we eat for this final meal

You could drink my tears while I eat your fears

Then when asked by our peers

I’ll say you’re someone I barely knew

<chorus>

Wakemeupplease

There’s Feathers, falling from the sky above

Stars dance, as My body falls

The pavement smells, of vinegar and freshly fallen rain

They told to me to let go, of the rock that holds me in my pain

A pebble in my heart

I am not a messiah today

I’m being watched

By the demons I cannot escape

I feel them now

A dark figure that caught my gaze

I’m watching myself now

The damp spreads, darkening my baggy jeans

Wake up,

How do I wake up ?

A nightmare, a reality I can’t release

Remembering them slowly, through the sweat stains on my sheets

Through my drool soaked screams,

I speak The stories that haunt me

Oh please

Won’t you wake me up?

My finger’s twitching,

I remember what it was like, to hold someone’s hand

Oh my chest,

The rain can’t blur my vision enough

To stop me from seeing

The seizing, I’m feeling

Their steps echoing, to where I am

I’m right here

Can’t you hear me ?

The colours change you know

When there aren’t eyelids

To weigh your vision down

It’s not so bad here

I could almost fall asleep

But wasn’t I already ?

Dreaming, I thought.

Dear Daffy Duck

The conflict-ions consistent,

My heart is full, but also scarred.

Everything I need, everything I want,

Just trying to pull the right card.

My introspection’s going far, but damn I need a car.

My views are conflicted, but aren’t we all contradicted ?

Everyone looks sickened.

We’re all just flickin’ our Bics, to feel apart of the clique.

But today, the more I flicked;

The dragon’s caught my disease, now it’s gotten sick.

So please, just let me breath.

So I can preach, and see the trees and feel the breeze.

I found ease on my knees.

Then I heard the wind bring the jingle of your keys.

Oh love please, you’re bringing me the opposite of peace.

You’re pricing me down like day old cheese.

My worth to you is at a discounted fee.

I can’t help that my favourite shirt is your raggedy old tee.

You gave me a sense of false security.

But darling.

You hear it now, you hear it from me.

I don’t need you, or your raggedy old tee, to make me feel happy.

It took me some time to realize, looking into your eyes was part of my demise.

It angered me inside.

You caused me oh so many sighs.

But now.

I choose my own side.

I huffed and I puffed, and damn it was tough.

However, no matter how rough,

I don’t dig my grave anymore.

Instead, I roll up my cuffs.

I no longer need you to carry my stuff.

Dear Daffy Duck,

Elmer Fudd came, and got you plucked.

~Hannah & Chelsey

Philia 💜

Inspiration snatching me from sleep

Bleary eyed words fly through a pen from the cage of my sheets

Somedays everyone feels weak

Bleak like sun stained clothing hanging with the old sheets

But what if that were your treat ?

A cream pie baked in the sun and ready to eat

Your stains form your personality

Fuck the yellow brick road

Let’s follow the tie dye streaks

Meeting you guys was my biggest feat

Desire ate me like a wolfmother lunging from the trees

I was lil red, trying to pretend I was free

Your love is unique

And it doesn’t derive from need

It’s even better

BecUse for once

There’s people that want me

I’ve always loved rain like when the day I was a spirit came, it’d be kind of the same

But inverted so going the other ways

Crystals to sky, because eventually all the reality’s change

You ignite inspiration in my brain

My love for you is like a planet with no pollution

I promise to forever sustain

It doesn’t have to be a long dialog, doesn’t have to be a full script

Conversing through creation befalls true bliss

A blanket lingering like mist

Brothers together, changing like a chameleons skin

Everyone has a spiral within

Follow it around and realize that the cage of sheets is truly thin

We wear our novels like tattoos on our skin

I’ve always loved rain like when the day I was a spirit came, it’d be kind of the same

But inverted so going the other ways

Crystals to sky, because eventually all the reality’s change

You ignite inspiration in my brain

My love for you is like a planet with no pollution

I promise to forever sustain

I know you seek freedom from life’s great risks

But for the change you wish

Look inside and realize you are the key and the lock

The risk your gift

To The Future Blue 💙

You know, one time you woke up bleary eyed, and he said that the meaning of your name didn’t begin to describe the light that opening your eyes brought to the world.

You know, the first time he came over, your first interaction was him lifting a guitar and watermelon Jack Daniels and you lifting a wii remote and sleemans.

You know, one time before sex, he asked you to put on a rick and morty sweater. Not only did you do it, but you made a dance out of it too.

You know, one time you gave up your dream, because someone else had the same one, and the look in their eyes was defeated whenever you got a compliment instead of them. Now their well on their way to that dream.

You know, one time while you were working, you yelled in front of all the customers to your manager “I only take a shit when I’m getting payed for it!”.

You know, one time someone called you crude. So you giggled and burped in their face.

You know, one time you made an elderly lady laugh, because you convinced her that you’d turn all the workers of a bakery, into an orchestra that would take the world by storm.

You know, everytime you preached to no one and everyone, someone was listening.

You know, when a taller Daniel Radcliffe came into your work and you swooned, he swooned a bit too.

Did you know that even if they blame you, it doesn’t mean that it’s your fault.

Did you know that even though you weren’t loved when you needed to be, doesn’t mean that others won’t love you after.

Did you know ? Everytime you pushed them away, there was always someone that kept trying.

Did you realize ?? That through all those walls, someone still always slipped through ?

Did you know ??? That everytime you wanted to die and didn’t allow yourself, it was the universe telling you that you were meant for something more.

Did you know ? I love you.

I loved you yesterday, I love you today, and I will love you when you find this hidden in a dusty old notebook years from now.

Now, did you know ¿ That even though you couldn’t believe it, they love you too.

So when you read this, tell someone you love them. Because saying it, will never make you weak.

Did you know ? Love is stronger than anything?

Did you know ? You’ve always been capable of love, and love, you will always have.

~Blue

¿ Déjà Vu Who ¿

Reality, after reality, they loop endlessly/

Dancing down the line with that consistency/

A flow of people, with a thought weighing their minds.

I close my eyes, and imagine myself in each different reality/

Often simple changes, caused by small activities/

Like what I had eaten that day.

But sometimes it’s more all consuming/

and it almost begins to feel degrading/

Because suddenly, I’m living a completely new life.

I imagine that déjà vu is caused by my reality’s self shifting/

Realizing, that slowly, things continue changing/

Brushing close to another reality’s me, because we’re wandering down similar paths.

Or maybe it’s something completely different, like a similar memory/

From a past life, or even an old movie/

Or just simply, past me feeling myself doing what future me has already done